Today, I was affronted in the face for the first time in my entire life. I know it was supposed to be a joke, but then, jokes are supposed to be funny, right? It wasn’t funny at all. Aside for its being offensive, it was also HUMILIATING. I don’t know if I would cry, answer back, neglect her, because whatever I’ll do will only make things worse. That’s why I just sulked it all in and embraced the big girl inside me, the brave me. But believe me, it was difficult. It was like all of a sudden my heart stopped beating; along with my brain, my lungs… I was dead for a minute there as I’ve tried to be sullen and to be composed.
I know you’re thinking that I’m OA (Over Acting??), or that I’m becoming a drama queen. But I’m not. Could you imagine yourself being called “stupid”? well, that’s not the exact way she said it. What she really said was that puro dramatics lang daw alam ko. Pretty shallow? Not really. Especially because of the way she said it. She was trying to really rub it in my face, and the message that I got from what she said was that I shouldn’t be meddling with “her dancing” because I don’t know anything. I’m not a dumbass. I was just trying to crack a joke. So, as I am constantly trying to eschew her and the controlling my urge to slap her on the face; I didn’t. I have what you call “manners”.
I’m hurt. Obviously, I am. But that wouldn’t discourage me. In fact, I’m going to prove to her that I’m not the typical trying-hard-to-look-like-a-barbie-girl slut who only knows about being stupid, and by the way, I’m not trying to brag here, but I can do math. I’m not who she thinks that I am. I hope so.
So besides that whole fiasco happening, I also had a time of my life practicing for the songfest. It’s not that I’m being too proud of my voice (in fact, my voice’s so rusty, it croaks). It’s just that singing is just my way of releasing tensions. Whenever I sing, I am able to stop thinking about what will happen, or about the things that I have to do, etc. I just love it. It’s like I’m acting, but I don’t have to move around or be in front, I could just sit down and sing my heart out.
Oh well, as much as I love to tell you more about the current ramblings of myself, I have to study because the Periodical Examinations are coming up, really FAST. Waaaaah… *panicking*
P.S. I wouldn’t mention whoever’s the girl that I’m pertaining to. But I just hope that she’ll learn the meaning of RESPECT because she may be really smart, but she’s not everything.
P.P.S: I’m not kidding. If she does this again, I’ll be kicking her sorry ass until she learns to do so. I may be sweet when I’m happy, but don’t get deceived because when I’m mad, I’m really MAD.
Labels: hate. anger. sing. panic.
