It’s been a while since I last wrote in this blog. Anyway, I never thought that things could really change in just a matter of weeks. In fact, I even went to a salon and had a haircut. And I asked the person who’s cutting my hair to cut it really, really short because I think it could be the first step in changing me. Well it is, right? Changing the way I look. But I can’t believe that I’m saying this but my new hair really fits me. I look great.

So there. Anyway, here’s my current ramblings…

I’ve been sulking alone in this sulkfest because I can’t do anything at my humble abode. Well, I read tons of books (nerd? nah.)

I’m still not ready to go back to school! In a matter of weeks I’m going back to school. Seeing my friends I love and trust; well, I trust most of them. I promise I’ll try my best to study harder and set my goals even higher.

I don’t live in the past. Whatever happened before is already a part of my history.

Yesterday and the day before that was one of the best days in my life. Not because that it became a breeze, but because it was the opposite. It was really challenging considering the fact that I’ve scratched my toe, broken-up with someone, and saw a really hot guy at the park (well, the last one was a treat).

I will not elaborate about the whole break up but it was really, really difficult on my part. It’s like I became distant from him for almost a week just so that I could prepare myself for it. I was hurt. I can’t just let myself be the one who gets hurt all the time. I have to save myself.

Anyway, I saw this guy who at first looked like my ex (yeah right, pao as if!). Well, when I saw him up close, he didn’t look like him exactly. So there, he was really hot. And I must say, I’m such a bitch for moving on that fast, but the heart wants what it wants, right? So there, it was really weird because I think he noticed that we kept on looking at him that’s why he looks back. I don’t know. If I were him and I notice guys looking at me, I would be conscious and I will not look at them (except if they were major hotties). But he might be different. We’ll never know. I’ll never know if I will not introduce myself to him. God. It’s really difficult to not obsess over him because I kind of obsess over him.

Well, I’ll just wait for whatever that will happen but I do wish myself the best of luck. He was too hot to be ignored. Not exactly, but still… All I really want to know is his name. Is it too much to ask? Well, karma is totally a bitch and I have to deal with it. No, actually, we all have to deal with it.


I’m counting on the days that I’ll meet him again.

I’ve been through a lot of thinking lately. Thoughts that I shouldn’t be thinking but I can’t help thinking of. It’s so complicated because I feel that I’m the one who’s creating my own problems but I actually blame my brain for all of it. I just wish that there will be a day that it will stop thinking about the things that will happen, or that I will stop remembering the past (the bad parts), and the like.

This summer officially sucks. I hate this. I hate this sucky summer shit and everything because it sucks being the sad girl; the girl who is left out of the crowd because someone unintentionally broke her heart. I’m the type of girl who normally can conceal her emotion by using her god-given talent of acting. Not that I’m saying that acting is synonymous to lying. But you get the point. So there, I've realized after spending some quality time talking to myself in front of a mirror (i know that's what you call the crazy talk, LOL) I won’t let myself be the girl who’s left out because she let her emotions take over her. It’s not worth the drama.

Anyway, I want to share my dream last night. It went on like this. I was in a concert; actually I was kind of like the star in that concert. So, I was on stage and I was singing with this guy. I don’t know what he looks like, I don’t know who he is, all I know is that I really, really, and I mean really like him. It’s like all I can remember of him is his voice and it was good (and what I mean by good is perfect). I can’t even remember if I was singing well or what I look like at that time. It was so perfect. But you know, it was just a dream but I really want it to come true. Well, the singing part may be left with being done but what I really want to happen is to see the guy or just to know him. Okay, I know you’re thinking that I’m a psycho but is it possible to fall in love with someone that you haven’t even met? Now I’m a complete psycho. But it’s worth it. :)

Labels: life sucks. as of now. :)

  Me llamo bea capili. But you could just call me BEI. Anyway, here are my some of the facts about me...
NAME: Bea Capili
AGE: 14 years. :|
HOBBIES: surfing the net, BLOGGING, chatting, reading, sleeping, eating, watching TV... yadda-yadda-yadda... the usual :)
SPORT: badminton. I'm struggling at it, though.
INTERESTS: performing, acting, singing, my dogs and lobsters, PS2 games like: Dino Crisis, Metal Gear, Resident Evil, Dance Revo (Every girl has a boyish side too, you know.), Chick-lits, Harry Potter Series, Books by Mitch Albom, my cell phone, flip-flops, bags, music,ONE TREE HILL, America's Next Top Model, and a whole LOT more...
MY OTHER SITES:
♥[MULTIPLY]♥
♥[FRIENDSTER]♥

      "At this moment, there are 6 billion, 4 hundred, 71 million, 8 hundred, 18 thousand, 6 hundred, 71 people in this world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good... struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 million souls -- And sometimes, all you need is ONE"

     -Peyton Sawyer "One Tree Hill"

January 2007 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 July 2007 August 2007 December 2007

***credits to Zaffy♥

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