I am typing my thoughts on this computer at 4am and trying to think over what went wrong about us, not you alone but it goes for the both of us. I am so sober because of lack of sleep but my mind is wide awake as it travels through time hoping to find the answers to the question that were left unanswered for a very long time.

As I go back to the days before I even met you. I try to question myself on how I can find my way back to love. It is difficult coping at my situation that time. Struggling to fight depression over the death of my great grandmother and the break-up that literally shattered me into pieces. The time that I’ve met you, I just felt that there’s something special about you. It wasn’t a big deal at that time but as I was trying to get to know you better, it did become a big deal for me. Though a lot of my friends (I know they had good intentions and I’ve appreciated it) told me that I’m too good for you and I should look for someone better. Well obviously my stubbornness overpowered me and left my friends with no choice but to accept whatever decisions I make. As months pass by I thought I was just dealing with the thing called infatuation but I wasn’t. I tried to convince myself not to fall in love with you because of the consequences it will result to. I just don’t want to be hurt again.

Back to the present. Though reality seems as depressing as it really is, I try my best to face it with conviction anyways. So I’ll do what I’ve promised and tell you everything that’s on my mind about you. To tell you the truth, there’s actually something different about you. It’s like when I look at you before, I have this confidence and I felt really special. But now, it’s different. Whenever I talk to you, or whenever I hang out with you, I feel like all my confidence is being pulled down along with myself. It’s like you’re so superior and a whole lot better than me, and I’m just a big waste of time (no offense though). As I’ve said to you, I may just be too conceited and self-centered to hate you for that very shallow reason but that’s who I am and no one can change it. But I may be just a little too sensitive. So for the millionth time, never mind whatever I say because I’m too petty and I don’t care about anyone but myself.

So now, I’ve let my stupidity rule over me again because I’ve uploaded this in my blog. But I don’t care whatever the people who will be reading this think. All I know is that I am so troubled and the only thing to do to express my heart out is through paper and pen (you know what I mean). Sorry.

Labels: the unspoken part of the princess..

back...
First of all, to all those who are reading my blog entries and commenting on them, thank you a million lots! I know that you’ve been waiting for me to update this blog for a very long time and I’m really sorry if I updated it just now. But today, I’m back and I’ll continue to update you with all my current thoughts and insights.

They say that a person can have too much of something. Then if the others realize that he is having too much of that something, they will take it all away. I had that for experience. I had too much of something that is called HAPPINESS. Then people took it all away and all that is left is desperation and hate…

I don’t know if it’s jealousy that had driven these people to steal what I had. I was actually having the time of my life being happy, enjoying the success that I had loathed for all my life, and having an award for something that I’m good at and I love doing. All I really wanted is just to be happy. But now it’s a luxury for me that I just can’t afford because people, like me, also want to have it and they’ll do everything just to have it.

I know that you’re thinking that I’m the perfect example of an “emo” type of person, but I’m not. Though I don’t have the happiness that I’m looking for, I’m still happy and the hyper person that you all knew because I have my friends who supports me and makes every single day worth living. :)

Labels: the unspoken part of the princess..

  Me llamo bea capili. But you could just call me BEI. Anyway, here are my some of the facts about me...
NAME: Bea Capili
AGE: 14 years. :|
HOBBIES: surfing the net, BLOGGING, chatting, reading, sleeping, eating, watching TV... yadda-yadda-yadda... the usual :)
SPORT: badminton. I'm struggling at it, though.
INTERESTS: performing, acting, singing, my dogs and lobsters, PS2 games like: Dino Crisis, Metal Gear, Resident Evil, Dance Revo (Every girl has a boyish side too, you know.), Chick-lits, Harry Potter Series, Books by Mitch Albom, my cell phone, flip-flops, bags, music,ONE TREE HILL, America's Next Top Model, and a whole LOT more...
MY OTHER SITES:
♥[MULTIPLY]♥
♥[FRIENDSTER]♥

      "At this moment, there are 6 billion, 4 hundred, 71 million, 8 hundred, 18 thousand, 6 hundred, 71 people in this world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good... struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 million souls -- And sometimes, all you need is ONE"

     -Peyton Sawyer "One Tree Hill"

January 2007 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 July 2007 August 2007 December 2007

***credits to Zaffy♥

♥Cheska Villacorta[b] [m]
♥Karmela Nebrija[b]
♥Nichola Brandes[m]
♥Tony Battung[m]
♥Nikki Surtida[b]
♥Aa Samaniego[b]
♥oneone[b]

♥Joanna Zafra[b]
♥Esme Palaganas[m]
♥potatwotwo[m]

hits online