Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes – how do you measure, measure a year? (Seasons of Love – Rent)

Obviously, I’ve been singing that song all day. I never got tired of that song (but I always wished that I could reach the highest note in the song… “remember your life in looove… ). Anyway, this day has been a torture for me. Despite the teachers bugging us with quizzes, seatworks, boring lectures, etc., I have been so moody today because my CL artwork (thing…) was so ugly, I was about to cry and I literally threw my sketch pad at Carmela’s foot (sorry lamb!). And our dramatics teacher really pushed us with all the workshops. Seriously, I was bruised all over my knee (I acted out as a cat… and Bianca kept on pushing me… she was acting out as a dog, by the way… :D), I have a terrible back pain (because I tripped and my back caught the fall when we were playing the slow-mo race), and my ankles hurt so badly (gahd, I also tripped when I was acting as a slutty cheer dancer… too much dancing… hahaha…). In short, I’m suffering with too much pain all over my body right now (I could just cry… but instead, I slept…). But when I think about it, I realized that all of the great actors in the world suffered those kinds of pain. So maybe, if I just continue to work hard and accept all those pains (ouch!!!), I could be a really great actress (stage actress okay, I never dreamt of becoming a TV star… eww!!!). Just like if you want to learn how to ride a bike, you have to fall tons of times before you could get your balance (I have a scar under my chin because of that…). But now, even if I haven’t ridden a bike for years, when I went to cheska’s house, I still knew how to ride a bike (yey!). So, if you want to be in the Dramatics GIFT class next year, hahaha… good luck. <3

Labels: funniest ever

Do you believe in karma? Before I actually didn’t believe in it… till now…

Today, I’ve promised myself that I’ll be in my normal, cheery self. But my oh, my, how can I be in my cheery self if my conscience keeps on bugging me that the thing I’ve done wrong is backfiring against me… big-time! And the thought of it just wants to make me cry those insanely bad crocodile tears. But luckily I didn’t. And I really thank God for giving me the talent of acting.

So anyway, I always tell myself to be in my very best behavior wherever I go (except when I act on stage, I always tell myself to be in my “character’s” best behavior). But I’ve just realized that I’ve never actually been in my best behavior when I’m out because I think that I’m always acting so bratty. And now, a lot of people hate me because of that. Even the person who I thought would be the last person in the world who would be mad at me is also angry at me (even though he completely denies it…)

In short, everyone hates me now because of my own selfish behavior. Even our dog hates me. But I don’t blame anyone. I never did… If there’s one person who I blame for all my shortcomings, it would be me because there’s really such a thing as… karma.

Labels: aww shoot...

I love… love
Ahh… I love being in love. It makes you feel like you suddenly have the ability to do everything. But what if love doesn’t love you back?

For others, they become hopeless romantics who are willing to do everything in order to be loved once more. Why is that so?? Isn’t it that love will always come back in its own time? Why do you have to chase it?

I believe that when you look for love, it actually shows that you’re cheating it. I know that because I’ve done it once, I became obsessed in searching for love that when I found someone that “liked me a lot”, I thought that he really loved me but the truth it is, he just liked me for the way I look.

That’s why there are times that having a pretty face is a curse. Not that I’m saying I have a pretty face but sometimes, I wished that I didn’t look the way I am because no one takes me seriously. Even my past friends never introduced me to their “boy friends”. They think that I would steal them. In short, they think I’m such a…

Anyway, I know a lot of people wasting their time in finding love. I pity them. Sorry, but for me it shows that they are insecure with themselves and they need someone to make them feel special. My advice for them, we are all special in our own ways, why the heck do you need someone to reassure you with that?!? If I were you, I would just spend my time in correcting my imperfections (and loving myself) because insecurity is a big no-no!! And don’t worry; I’m sure that Mr. Right will come to you in his own time (haha...)

Labels: there's more to come after this short break

Misunderstanding that led to a total mix up
Whoa… I never thought that I would start this year with tons of trouble (and a little amount of cash… hahaha). Anyways, I don’t know what was really going on with me, but… argh! I can’t explain it!!.... it’s just that I’ve never been contented with myself. I mean, I always expect more with something. I know that right now, my problem is not the problem but the way I handle my problem is the problem. It’s too confusing. I know right… but one thing’s for sure, once you get in my position, you’ll be singing that quote over and over again until you’re gagging for air and holding on to your rope of life. Just kidding! But I don’t know why I am becoming my worst enemy. I mean I can make my life easier by accepting whatever my friends are serving on the table (figuratively speaking, of course).

But I am a human being too who is capable of thinking and feeling what I need and what I want for myself. I want to be HAPPY. I don’t want to be someone’s pet and be treated like one. I want to live my life to the fullest. But in order to attain that, I need to have my freedom. And it’s sad to say, I can never have my freedom. No matter what decisions I make, there’s someone who’ll eventually get hurt. That’s why I never had the guts to decide for myself because I’m too coward to stand on my two feet and be a man to whatever decisions I make. That’s why I kept this problem to myself. I never wanted anyone to be hurt in whatever path I choose. That’s why I always longed to be back in my pre-school years because you could just play all day without stepping on someone’s pride or dealing with the fear of losing. Aww… it sure feels great being back to the old life. But we have to deal with our present life. The life that we had longed for when we were in pre-school (hahaha… how ironic!).

So, to my special someone whom I’ve hurt so much, i never really wanted you to be like this… I think I have trapped you too long in a cage so if you’re willing, I’m giving you this opportunity to attain freedom. Freedom to choose if you want to stay in the cage or be free in the wilderness…. <3

Labels: sorry..

and another thing...
... Uhh... about my blog, since it's just new... sorry if it still looks like crap... hopefully, if i have time i would fix it so that it will be convenient for you when you're viewing it... But for now, i'll try my best to make better blog entries than i normally make in other sites... thanks again for viewing my site.... ciao!!! <3

my first ever...
Today is a very special day for me. Hahaha… it’s because this is the first time I’ve gotten enough guts to create a blog. But this is not just a blog, the stuff that I will be writing here will be from my very confidential journal itself. That’s why this blog is one of the bravest things that I’ve done because I’ll be confessing in this blog EVERYTHING! And everyone can read it and leave comments. Isn’t it great?? Hahaha… so feel free to write your comments and it will be deeply appreciated. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy my blog… <3

Labels: more updates soon...

  Me llamo bea capili. But you could just call me BEI. Anyway, here are my some of the facts about me...
NAME: Bea Capili
AGE: 14 years. :|
HOBBIES: surfing the net, BLOGGING, chatting, reading, sleeping, eating, watching TV... yadda-yadda-yadda... the usual :)
SPORT: badminton. I'm struggling at it, though.
INTERESTS: performing, acting, singing, my dogs and lobsters, PS2 games like: Dino Crisis, Metal Gear, Resident Evil, Dance Revo (Every girl has a boyish side too, you know.), Chick-lits, Harry Potter Series, Books by Mitch Albom, my cell phone, flip-flops, bags, music,ONE TREE HILL, America's Next Top Model, and a whole LOT more...
MY OTHER SITES:
♥[MULTIPLY]♥
♥[FRIENDSTER]♥

      "At this moment, there are 6 billion, 4 hundred, 71 million, 8 hundred, 18 thousand, 6 hundred, 71 people in this world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good... struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 million souls -- And sometimes, all you need is ONE"

     -Peyton Sawyer "One Tree Hill"

January 2007 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 July 2007 August 2007 December 2007

***credits to Zaffy♥

♥Cheska Villacorta[b] [m]
♥Karmela Nebrija[b]
♥Nichola Brandes[m]
♥Tony Battung[m]
♥Nikki Surtida[b]
♥Aa Samaniego[b]
♥oneone[b]

♥Joanna Zafra[b]
♥Esme Palaganas[m]
♥potatwotwo[m]

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